School of Leaders 1 Reflection Paper Strengthening Marital Love

I am one of the Primary 12 in our church. As part of my training in G12, I underwent School of Leaders, 1 to 3, lessons. And this is one of the reflections I made.
This was last Nov. 2012.


School of Leaders 1
Reflection Paper

Strengthening Marital Love

        Frankly, I did not want to write a reflection paper on this topic. I don’t want  to write something  which does not mirror my thoughts but I also don’t want to write something unconstructive nor do I want to people to gloat over my temporary intermittent misery. In fact, I put off writing this many times until I feel that I was feeling more upbeat.
       Marriage can indeed make or break a person. Love is not enough between two people. There has to be something stronger to bind them together. And that is God.
      I have been a Christian for nine (9) years before I got married. And I was in a relationship with my husband for four (4) years before we got married. I have to admit he was an unbeliever when we started going out and looking back, it was that time which started my spiritual descent. I saw him accepted Jesus, attended worship services almost every Sunday with me and he was even baptized. We went through several sessions of marriage preparation counseling with a pastor. But I did not see in him the zeal and passion that I had when I first became born again. Well, perhaps a person’s response is indeed different from one another.
      Then I became a lukewarm Christian. And while there were highs and joys, being in such spiritual state surely affected how I conducted myself as a wife. Several times, I was not submissive being a person with a strong personality, I was with pride and I struggled to gain control through my own means. I spoke harshly oftentimes and to some extent I guess I was annoying. I begot all that in return which made it worse because the more I resorted to my old ways. This certainly resulted to painful words which were hurled at one another and it became cyclical.
    This was the state we were in when God pulled me out of the miry pit. I know in my heart back then that I needed to go back to God and not continue on being a passive, lukewarm Christian. Hence, I renewed my first love with God and  became a disciple and along with it came tremendous wisdom about life and marriage.
     This learning I applied on a daily basis since then and though there are some moments when I fail, each time I stand and stick to what I know are effective biblical principles about life and marriage.
     Surprisingly, my spouse responded to my recent behavior in a positive manner. Indeed, respect, love, patience begets the same. Sometimes it’s just amusing to see my spouse’s reaction when I did the opposite of what I would have used to do in a given situation.
      Undeniably, when we put God first in everything, when we love Him with all our hearts, being good and doing good requires no effort for it just flows naturally.
    While love between spouses is very important, it just won’t suffice. A husband and a wife are just humans and because of their sinful nature, it is inevitable that the two will clash. God of course knows this and I believe that it is one of the reasons why He put in a lot of verses in the bible about marriage as a guide to the spouses. But the essence of all this verses is really simple if we think about it. It returns to the core of loving God and putting Him first in everything.
    Strengthening marital love is indisputably not limited to the couple but responding to God’s precepts. If both couple are in love with God and both are putting God first in everything they do, no really hard effort will be required from both for loving each other more and all the other good acts that come along with it will just flow naturally.
       Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. (Psalm 127:1) This verse is parallel to Matthew 6:33. Indeed, God’s blessing will be upon the family if both are loving and putting God first over anyone and everything. I believe that I am in the right track. But God is not finished with him yet, God is not finished with me yet, God is not finished with us…. The best is yet to come and that best will not tarry for I know that it is close at hand.