Lenten thoughts

Dear God,

I know Im a sinner and I held my flaws before my eyes. At times (rather most of the time), I cannot control my anger, bitterness, arrogance, sarcasm, cynicism and other negative and sinful emotions and thoughts. I don't know, I used to be so passionate, so idealistic, so full of zeal, so trusting and seems to be full of faith. But now, what has become of me. I tend to be a control freak that when things dont go the way I planned it, I get furious.

A lot of things has happened in my life, though, not on the extremes, but has brought me to this point of doubt, unbelief and faithlessness. Finances, domestic, family, work... every time I encounter some problems, instead of getting to You, I go to me, trying to solve things on my own and when things go awry, I blame You.

Father God, I have experienced your goodness countless times yet when trial comes my way I become a doubting thomas and at at times, I question you. Though I know deep inside no one else can help me except You and that everything should start and end with You.

I have been through a lot lately yet I know that you never have failed me nor let go of me, You have always been there and though sometimes I deny it, subsequent circumstances have proven time and again that you've been there. Besides, you'll never forget to fulfill your promise. You promised in your Word that you will not leave me nor forsake me and you always do.

Help me to pray constantly, help me to put my faith in You, and everytime I have a problem, help me to look to you first.

I love you God, I know you know. Help me to manifest it in thoughts, words and deeds.

In you I surrender.